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I’m Not OK Today

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

Originally published on Her View From Home.

I'm Not OK Today

After a long day at work, my husband bursts through the front door loudly singing an upbeat song which I’m sure he heard on the radio during his drive home. Heck, I heard him singing all the way up the front steps, he doesn’t even need to announce, “Honey, I’m home!”

He is the perfect picture of a happy guy coming home to his girls.

I, on the other hand, had on my grungy clothes, messy hair pulled back, no makeup, fussy baby on my hip (who didn’t take an afternoon nap), a barking dog, two cats howling at me for dinner, and the tune of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse going through my mind over and over and over again.

I think this is the perfect picture of a SAHM.

I quickly hand over the baby and corral the animals to their feeding places so a little peace and quiet can be enjoyed…except that my husband keeps loudly singing.  I give him a glance, so he asks, “Are you OK?”

I wish I could go through the list of everything I didn’t get done around the house today, I still need to fold laundry, cook dinner, feed the baby, take a shower, and enjoy just a little peace and quiet.  Even though I haven’t talked full sentences all day, my mind is mush, so all I can mutter is, “I’m not OK today.”

My vision for the day did not go as planned.  The unexpected happened, and it continued throughout the day.  I was lucky enough to stay in a state of mind to not beat myself up about it, but now that my husband is home I start to feel unaccomplished, messy, and I mentally start to beat myself up.  How do I explain this to him?

As I’m fumbling through the kitchen to put something together for dinner, he sets the baby up in her highchair and feeds her dinner.  OK, that’s one thing that’s no longer on my to-do list.  After we eat, he helps me fold the laundry and put the clothes away, so another thing I no longer need to do.  He then offers to put the baby to bed so I can take a shower. I sigh…there’s my peace and quiet!

At the end of the night, he was the one who stepped up and helped me get past my difficult day. He didn’t come home expecting a clean house, he came home to be with his girls.  I wish I could go back to his arrival home and jump into his arms, give him a big kiss and start singing with him!  It’s a great reminder: some days he will need me to be the loud singer to lift his spirits.

The perfect picture of a SAHM includes someone special to be there and understand when your day doesn’t go OK.  I didn’t have to explain why my day did not go as planned, or what I wasn’t able to get done…all I had to say was, “I’m not OK today.”


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I'm Not OK Today

Summer Memories

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

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This summer has brought some happy memories.  It’s sweet to relive the moments by looking at pictures and reading my summer blog posts again. My daughter was just a baby, but the experiences we shared with her will be treasured forever. I’m happy to share these again with you!

We started the summer with multiple family weddings. Charlotte was the flower girl in my sister’s wedding, and she was adorable! I shared tips as the Mom of the Flower Girl HERE.

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We had a lot of firsts. Charlotte’s first swimming class and going to the splash park with friends were some of our favorites. She definitely loves to be in the water!

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We also took her camping for the first time and had a beach day. Watching her explore the water and sand is something I never want to forget! Spending a day at the beach was a lot different with a little one…read my beach with baby experience HERE.

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We had some important celebrations for our little girl! The day of her baptism was very special. Our families all came together, and it was a memory I never want to forget! I share my journey leading up to Charlotte’s Baptism HERE.

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Talk about important celebrations, she turned 1! I definitely had a lot of mixed emotions about my daughter’s first birthday, so I wrote her a letter HERE. We threw her a Mickey Mouse themed birthday party, and family and friends all came together to celebrate.

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One year photos by JR Photography

I feel like I am barely covering all the memories and photos from our adventures this summer. It is difficult for me to let go and look forward to fall. She’s gone from a crawl to taking steps, and she’s walking more every day! I know that my hands will be full keeping an eye on her and we will continue to grow together, but her first summer as a baby is something I never want to forget.

Summer Memories!

To My Firstborn Daughter

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

Dear Charlotte,

Your 1st birthday is only a day away, and I am shocked at how quickly we got here. You have already changed in so many amazing ways, and your Daddy and I are very proud of you.

Some of my favorite moments were when you were a brand new baby. You slept a lot, but there were hours I just held you in my arms and looked at you with eyes full of love and wonder. I remember the first moment I felt a very strong mothering responsibility for you…it was powerful to realize everything in your life starts with me and I am the one who is here to protect you. I promised I would not let you down.

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You have done so much for me. Your piercing blue eyes are what helped me get through a lot of days. Staying home to take care of you became my full time job, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You can just look at me and I’ll be there. You say, “mama” now and it speaks to my heart.

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There are lots of little things I never want to forget…like how your little hand holds onto my finger, or your giggle is music to my ears it always makes me smile. Of course the milestones have been precious, and your Daddy and I wait for them, but everything you do is a blessing to me.

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You have showed me unconditional love. You have inspired me to be a better person. You have affected my life in so many different ways…but I am grateful that my new normal is spending everyday with you.

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You are blossoming into a beautiful girl. It is bittersweet that you will no longer be a baby, but I hope you let me call you baby girl for a long time to come.

I love you, baby girl, please continue to be you.

One year photos: JR Photography

Family Changes: Preparing for Baby 2

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

I made a list of changes to help me prepare for baby 2 in a blog post (read it again HERE) and I’m determined to mentally prepare myself for all these changes before we begin trying for baby #2.  Planning may be the starting motivation I need to go through a whole 9-10 months of pregnancy again!

Family changes is an important one to me.  We will go from 2 parents per kid to 1 parent per kid…and I will be outnumbered at home 2 to 1 when Daddy is at work.  It was a shock for me when I put these two pictures next to each other (below.)  Last year was our baby shower, and this year we celebrated our daughter’s baptism (both on Father’s Day.)  But, the reality for me is there is so much that changed in 1 year for us, and our family grew!

Family Changes: Preparing for Baby 2

It is more than just numbers to take into consideration for family changes.  How will Charlotte react?  I see her being a great older sister, but right now she is my one and only…she’s my baby girl and receives ALL my attention.  She is almost 11 months old and my one-on-one time with her is so precious right now, I can’t envision having another baby soon.  My brother and sister are 11 months apart in age, so I try to envision Charlotte plus a newborn in the home right now and I can’t imagine how my mom did it.  She has told me the first year of my youngest sibling’s life is a big blur, and I’m sure she just went through the mom motions with very little sleep!

So if not soon, then when?  I really like the idea of Charlotte being old enough to understand that Mommy has a baby in her belly.  I would like to read her books about being an older sister and have her feel the baby move in Mommy’s belly.  Even though she is small, she may be the biggest support I have day-to-day going through a second pregnancy.  Since she has yet to start walking or talking, Randy and I both agree we’ll need to re-asses our timeline to start trying for baby #2 as Charlotte continues to grow.

Randy and I also agree that before our family grows, we need to focus on each other more; we need to put each other first before the kid(s).  I think this is a “rule” we have neglected as first-time parents.  This past year has been a whirlwind finding our foot holes as parents (and the love we have individually for our baby girl is so strong) that we have neglected each other at times. Years from now when the kids are gone, we will be the only ones left…so, I think we both agree our relationship’s foundation needs to continue to grow as our family grows.

A few weekends ago I went on a road trip with my brother, so Randy stayed home to watch Charlotte and her cousin, Marcus.  I thought: this is a great trial to see what having 2 children will be all about!  Marcus is 4 years older than Charlotte, so there is a good age gap, and all kinds of potential troubles to experience.  My mother-in-law came and stayed with Randy for the weekend, so most of the time he was not outnumbered.

Family Changes: Preparing for Baby 2

I was thinking about interviewing Randy after the weekend (for blog purposes), but I know he would tell me everything was fine (minus a bath time tantrum he experienced with Marcus.)  The only other stresses were from my dog getting sprayed by a skunk in the backyard.  In the end, it sounded like they all had a weekend of fun: going to the park, eating out, shopping, and taking care of each other.

Family Changes: Preparing for Baby 2

I see the possibilities of what a family of four will be like, and I’m excited by it!  But, there is no need to rush a second pregnancy.  Maybe a bigger age gap (instead of what I was originally thinking) will be better for us.  Plus, I still have body, lifestyle, household, and financial changes to ponder and blog about.

Wish me luck, and I hope you’re able to follow along!

7 Things Parents Shouldn’t Apologize For

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

It seems to be a universal understanding that parents sometimes feel overly tired, hungry, stressed, and short on time (to name a few)…so apologies come out very easily.  I find myself saying sorry every day to myself, to my husband, to my baby, or even random strangers.  It is time for me to be realistic with myself and face the fact that I don’t need to be so apologetic. The word “sorry” should even be removed from my daily vocabulary!

Here are 7 things parents shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for:

1) sorry I am still in my pajamas…sometimes taking care of kids begins as soon as you roll out of bed, and finding the time to get dressed doesn’t always happen (especially if you don’t have anywhere to go.)  It’s ok!  If someone knocked on my front door right now, I’d hope they would understand why I’m still in my robe because I have a crying/teething baby on my hip today.

2) sorry I need more caffeine…do I need to explain why this shouldn’t be an apology?

3) sorry I am starving…some days you may not think about eating until you have that hangry feeling.  Just eat a little more at your next meal, don’t apologize for it.  I know my daughter’s eating schedule takes priority over my own, grabbing something for myself to eat doesn’t always happen when it should.

4) sorry my baby’s crying…babies cry. This is something that should not be your apology, most people will understand.

5) sorry I am so tired…every day. It takes a lot of time and energy to raise kids, so I think it goes unsaid that most of the time you are a tired parent who needs sleep.  No apology needed.

6) sorry I am behind schedule…it seems to happen more than you’d like, but sometimes it is out of your control and finding the flexibility is important. Use your time and energy to work on the schedule for tomorrow instead of apologizing for today.

7) sorry I need time for myself…every parent should have time to themselves. Just because you need some alone time does not mean you don’t want to be a part of the family anymore.  I know I need to work on telling my husband that I need some alone time instead of apologizing to him about it.

If someone were apologizing to me for these same things, I would say that I understand, there is no apology needed!  No apology needed…


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