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I made a list of changes to help me prepare for baby 2 in a blog post (read it again HERE) and I’m determined to mentally prepare myself for all these changes before we begin trying for baby #2. Planning may be the starting motivation I need to go through a whole 9-10 months of pregnancy again!
Family changes is an important one to me. We will go from 2 parents per kid to 1 parent per kid…and I will be outnumbered at home 2 to 1 when Daddy is at work. It was a shock for me when I put these two pictures next to each other (below.) Last year was our baby shower, and this year we celebrated our daughter’s baptism (both on Father’s Day.) But, the reality for me is there is so much that changed in 1 year for us, and our family grew!
It is more than just numbers to take into consideration for family changes. How will Charlotte react? I see her being a great older sister, but right now she is my one and only…she’s my baby girl and receives ALL my attention. She is almost 11 months old and my one-on-one time with her is so precious right now, I can’t envision having another baby soon. My brother and sister are 11 months apart in age, so I try to envision Charlotte plus a newborn in the home right now and I can’t imagine how my mom did it. She has told me the first year of my youngest sibling’s life is a big blur, and I’m sure she just went through the mom motions with very little sleep!
So if not soon, then when? I really like the idea of Charlotte being old enough to understand that Mommy has a baby in her belly. I would like to read her books about being an older sister and have her feel the baby move in Mommy’s belly. Even though she is small, she may be the biggest support I have day-to-day going through a second pregnancy. Since she has yet to start walking or talking, Randy and I both agree we’ll need to re-asses our timeline to start trying for baby #2 as Charlotte continues to grow.
Randy and I also agree that before our family grows, we need to focus on each other more; we need to put each other first before the kid(s). I think this is a “rule” we have neglected as first-time parents. This past year has been a whirlwind finding our foot holes as parents (and the love we have individually for our baby girl is so strong) that we have neglected each other at times. Years from now when the kids are gone, we will be the only ones left…so, I think we both agree our relationship’s foundation needs to continue to grow as our family grows.
A few weekends ago I went on a road trip with my brother, so Randy stayed home to watch Charlotte and her cousin, Marcus. I thought: this is a great trial to see what having 2 children will be all about! Marcus is 4 years older than Charlotte, so there is a good age gap, and all kinds of potential troubles to experience. My mother-in-law came and stayed with Randy for the weekend, so most of the time he was not outnumbered.
I was thinking about interviewing Randy after the weekend (for blog purposes), but I know he would tell me everything was fine (minus a bath time tantrum he experienced with Marcus.) The only other stresses were from my dog getting sprayed by a skunk in the backyard. In the end, it sounded like they all had a weekend of fun: going to the park, eating out, shopping, and taking care of each other.
I see the possibilities of what a family of four will be like, and I’m excited by it! But, there is no need to rush a second pregnancy. Maybe a bigger age gap (instead of what I was originally thinking) will be better for us. Plus, I still have body, lifestyle, household, and financial changes to ponder and blog about.
Wish me luck, and I hope you’re able to follow along!