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7 Things Parents Shouldn’t Apologize For

There may be affiliate links in this post, but they have no impact on my writing. All opinions are my own.

   

It seems to be a universal understanding that parents sometimes feel overly tired, hungry, stressed, and short on time (to name a few)…so apologies come out very easily.  I find myself saying sorry every day to myself, to my husband, to my baby, or even random strangers.  It is time for me to be realistic with myself and face the fact that I don’t need to be so apologetic. The word “sorry” should even be removed from my daily vocabulary!

Here are 7 things parents shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for:

1) sorry I am still in my pajamas…sometimes taking care of kids begins as soon as you roll out of bed, and finding the time to get dressed doesn’t always happen (especially if you don’t have anywhere to go.)  It’s ok!  If someone knocked on my front door right now, I’d hope they would understand why I’m still in my robe because I have a crying/teething baby on my hip today.

2) sorry I need more caffeine…do I need to explain why this shouldn’t be an apology?

3) sorry I am starving…some days you may not think about eating until you have that hangry feeling.  Just eat a little more at your next meal, don’t apologize for it.  I know my daughter’s eating schedule takes priority over my own, grabbing something for myself to eat doesn’t always happen when it should.

4) sorry my baby’s crying…babies cry. This is something that should not be your apology, most people will understand.

5) sorry I am so tired…every day. It takes a lot of time and energy to raise kids, so I think it goes unsaid that most of the time you are a tired parent who needs sleep.  No apology needed.

6) sorry I am behind schedule…it seems to happen more than you’d like, but sometimes it is out of your control and finding the flexibility is important. Use your time and energy to work on the schedule for tomorrow instead of apologizing for today.

7) sorry I need time for myself…every parent should have time to themselves. Just because you need some alone time does not mean you don’t want to be a part of the family anymore.  I know I need to work on telling my husband that I need some alone time instead of apologizing to him about it.

If someone were apologizing to me for these same things, I would say that I understand, there is no apology needed!  No apology needed…


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62 Comments

  1. I have 5 kids and everything on this list applies to me. I have one to add. I am always apologizing for my messy house. There are times it is better than others, but if I’ve been busy with kids the house takes a hit.

  2. Ha! This is great! As new dads ourselves, my husband and I find ourselves apologizing for EVERYTHING you have listed here. You made the lightbulb go off in my head. No more apoligies! Thanks for this!!!

  3. Girl, this is amazing! I am always throwing the sorry disclaimer out there when I really shouldn’t! This article is an empowerment one! I love it!

  4. Couldn’t agree more Mama! Why do we do this? As Mom’s, we have enough on our plates. Often sleep deprived, running around like a mad hatter trying to get everything done for everyone else while raising good tiny humans haha Love this post! Lets cut ourselves some slack, rock those Pj’s, hold that 5th cup of coffee like a boss and ignore the spit up in our messy hair–don’t care!

  5. Love it! This is the same attitude I have. I’m not sorry! Mothering is the hardest job on earth! Great post!

  6. Over the weekend I was eating at a restaurant and a baby was crying a few tables away. The mom was trying everything to calm the baby and eventually had to take her child outside, leaving behind her un-eaten meal. Some adults at another table complained to their waiter about the baby and were very rude, border-line mean to the mother with the crying baby. It was terrible. BUT I never saw her apologize to them, and I am glad. They did not deserve it. I just wish I had helped her so she could have eaten her meal. I’ve been there!

    • That is such a real and raw story about a mother and her crying baby, thank you for sharing! I wouldn’t apologize, and I’m glad she didn’t feel the need to either!

  7. Seriously! At least I’m not the only one not sorry! This is just life right now and hopefully this won’t be how I am forever.

    Is it bad I spend more money on PJs than real clothes these days?

  8. I LOVE this list. Spot on. We didn’t stop being people when we became parents. We have the same needs, and they are nothing to apologize for.

  9. Amy

    Oh my goodness, yes and amen to stopping apologizing for a crying baby! I hate that we so often feel like we have to apologize. I’ve done it, too, and, afterwards, I’m always like, “Well? What did they expect from a hungry, tired baby who was in unfamiliar surroundings?”

  10. Great post! We forget sometimes that we’re not the only ones going through these things. Don’t apologize!

  11. Yes, yes and yes! My coworkers have been telling me lately that I look tired. I feel bad for looking tired, but I wake up at 5 AM and commute 40 miles each way. Of course I’m tired! Great post.

  12. “Sorry i just need some time to myself”, I am the culprit of saying this to my husband or who ever is babysitting the kids. I agree with you I need to stop apologising for this! 😀

  13. Absolutely! Especially #4! Great list and something all new parents need to read!

  14. YES to all of this!! It took me a while to come around to understanding this!

    • When I wrote this, it was definitely a new milestone for me understanding what appropriate apologies should be as a parent! Thanks for reading 🙂

  15. Oh my gosh…so true! I gave up coffee (bc I can’t drink it without sugar) and can totally relate to needing caffeine and being tired!

  16. I’ve stopped apologizing for being late. If you know me and my boys, you know we’re probably going to be late. We’ve been getting better, though! And I need to be better about the “me” time thing. I don’t take time for me nearly as much as I should and I apologize for it when I do.

  17. beth kelley

    Great post. So true. My kids are older but I used to feel so guilty for some of these things. I now look back and realized I shouldn’t have felt like that.

  18. Awesome post. I really had to learn not to be sorry about number 7. I use to have serious mommy guilt.

  19. Totally agree! “Sorry” should be removed from the parental vocabulary, especially if talking to fellow Moms and dads who should be even more understanding

  20. AMEN!! I experience all seven of the points you write about. In fact, I’m typing this comment while in my pajamas at 4 in the afternoon and I’m not sorry at all! LOL! I told myself today’s going to be a stay-inside-in-my-pajamas-kind-of-day! I’m out of coffee and my baby’s been fussy today, too. Good reminders as to why we don’t need to apologize because life happens!

  21. Number 7 is the most important! Love this post!

  22. Totally agree. I would add, “Sorry the house is a mess.” We’re busy living life here, okay? The children are alive and happy, so I’m not apologizing for their imaginative messes anymore. 🙂 I love the idea of being more aware of those things that we really don’t need to apologize for (and maybe focus more on the times when we really DO need to apologize…that’s one of my own goals). Thanks!

  23. I say the “sorry I need caffeine” a lot 🙂 Great post!

  24. The baby crying especially. People instantly glare now when they hear a baby crying. When did helpless, needy babies become an annoyance to everyone? I hate that attitude.

  25. Great post! I totally agree with the baby crying one- I always feel the need to apologize for that, and I shouldn’t! I don’t have much control over when my baby decides to cry, and usually I’ve tried everything to make it stop!

  26. Love this! Sorry, I’m not sorry about any of these! Rocking my pajamas, guzzling caffeine, going to be tired given 2 kids/full time job/blog/house to run!

  27. Absolutely! I’m NOT sorry! Being a stay home mom isn’t an easy job. Some days our only accomplishment is that everyone survived- haha.

  28. Dawn

    It’s all so true. Sometimes it’s all you can do to get things done and get showered. I tell people “I get it. It makes you normal”.

  29. Good post! Thanks for sharing!

  30. Working from home still in my PJs…. so not sorry for it!

  31. Yep, totally sitting here in my PJs with a cup of coffee… NOT SORRY! 🙂

  32. Great post. I am guilty of the sorry my baby is crying, which is ridiculous, because what else is he supposed to do! Not like people haven’t heard a baby cry or fuss before. I agree with Aditi on the sorry my house is messy thing. That probably won’t ever change!

    • Thanks! Yes, can’t feel sorry for a crying baby (as hard as it may be) if there’s someone who doesn’t understand, they must not be a parent 😉 You’re right about some things never changing, so no need for apologies! It’s just the way it is 🙂 Thanks for reading!

  33. Only thing I’m rarely sorry for is being late. Haha. That’s coz I always prepare for any event for half hour in advance coz I HATE being late.

    But rest all are bang on !!! There are many more… Sorry, my house is a mess. Sorry, I’m so sleepy. Sorry, kids are acting out coz they are tired or hungry.

    • I can’t stand being late either! When my daughter was first born, it took awhile to figure out how much extra time we needed to get ready to leave for somewhere (we were late to her first doctor appointments by 5-10 minutes each time and it made me SO stressed!)
      Sorry my house is a mess is another one I use a lot! Thanks for the awesome input! 🙂

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